Overboss
by heavenlyrat
Summary: After killing Shaun, Nuka-World proves to be just the vacation that the Sole Survivor needed. But on a trip back to the Commonwealth, and after a few harsh words from Preston, Vera begins to question her choices and herself. Well, I'm sure some Jet will cheer her up!


It was when Preston turned on his heel, brow furrowed and shoulders heavy that I finally realised what I had done – what I was _doing_.

After Shaun, after everything, I'd needed an escape – a vacation. Nuka-world had been just that. Sure, I'd despised the gangs at first and spent many nights awake, one hand on my pistol as I dreamed up ways to burn the place to the ground. It would be hard, but I could do it.

But as the days turned to weeks and as I became Overboss in more than just name, I started to grow a certain fondness to the place. I became desensitized to the blood, violence and slavery and instead wore my raider crown with pride.

It had been a short fall, from General to Raider.

I wasn't completely gone, not like Preston assumed. I was still very much certain that Nisha would have to die; my old-world upbringing couldn't bring me to fully understand the extent of that depravity. But the Pack were tolerable, as were the Operators – corrupt _sure_ , but evil?

I shook my head, running a hand over my grimy hair. Raiders were evil; so why was I so confused, my judgement so askew? I wasn't the same person I'd been before I'd left, that was for sure. But surely all my actions thus far, all the people I'd helped and all that I'd built, wouldn't be washed away by this questionable course of action.

I was angry at Preston, annoyed at his unwavering devotion to the righteous path. Where had it got him? Where had it got anyone? All it has bestowed upon me was a title and a dead son.

I walked through the courtyard, passing smiling faces, greeting a few. They didn't seem to have any idea, and for that I respected Preston even more.

My room was immaculate, as ever. The Minutemen spoiled me, they really did. I could even see my face in the bottle of Whiskey they'd left on my table. I wasn't much of a drinker, but I needed to cool off, so I poured myself a neat round. And then a couple more.

"Well, well... this isn't very _you_." Came the ever sturdy voice of Danse. He let himself in.

I stood up and turned to face him, relieved to see that he hadn't received any injuries since I'd been away. His browed looked more creased than ever and I sighed internally, wondering if he'd ever get that stick out of his ass. Then I remembered that I'd left without a word – this new worry was not for himself, but for me.

I smiled, closed the distance and threw my arms around his neck. He stroked my back and we stood in silence for a moment, savouring being in the presence of one another again.

He was the first one to break away and I looked up at him, unsurprised to be met with a questioning stare.

"Let me pour you a drink." I said, resuming my place at the table and indicating that he do the same.

Danse was a slow drinker, slower than even me, so I'd finished two more by the time he'd made a dent in his.

"I missed you." He said, his soft brown eyes full of sadness. "I think the Commonwealth did as well."

I almost choked at that last part, but I had to broach the topic slowly, I had to soften the blow.

"And I missed you – a lot." I lied, as effortlessly as ever. For a while I thought that I'd loved Danse, but it was fleeting. I was fond of him – extremely – and his company was always a positive... but I don't think that I had any love left to give. Gade had been similar, a lesser version certainly, but still similar.

He seemed to read into my insincerity. "Where were you?" he eyes flashed with worry.

"Eh..." I began, chewing hard on my nails. I could feel the tremors starting. "Not far, I took a train to an old pre-war vacation spot, Nuka-World."

"Nuka-World..." he gritted his teeth before meeting my gaze, his eyes piercing and bright. " _Raiders?_ "

Of course Danse knew. Everyone in the whole fucking Commonwealth seemed to know – except me until _extremely_ recently.

"Yea, well, it wasn't exactly a vacation." I said, unsure of how to proceed.

"Did- did they enslave you?" He asked, voice suddenly soft.

I was taken aback by the question, winded even. Danse believed that I'd been taken captive, subject to a horrific range of tortures... and then what, I'd managed to escape?! Was I that saintly that Danse, who knew me _well_ , could not even begin to conceive the truth of what had happened? I felt sick to my stomach, but also betrayed. Nobody knew me, least of all myself.

"No!" I finalised, grabbing onto his callous hand. "They tried to kill me in this – _this_ death maze, but I killed their Leader, I won." And I couldn't help but smile.

Danse flinched.

"And then?" he prodded.

My mind flashed to the killing spree that had ensued - from me clearing out the park to running missions for each of the gangs and even to my most recent endeavour, of throwing my once-friends out of their land in favour of my people. _My_ people. It was so strange now, in the presence of Danse, to claim the raiders as my own.

"A-and then I stayed w-with them –" but Danse cut me short, he was examining my hand, and the slight tremors running through it.

"You can barely talk straight." He said, stern and powerful, a true Brotherhood soldier. "You've been using. _What_?" His eyes flashed up, cold but not unkind.

I made to slip my hand from his grasp but he held me firm. I looked into his hard eyes, admitting defeat.

"Jet, Psycho, a-a bit of Buffout." I said, surprised at how unashamed I was.

Danse scoffed, he threw my hand away and stood up, back turned. "The favourites of any _raider_."

I didn't know what to say, he'd hit the nail on the head. But a part of me was glad he knew, for I needed him to tell me that this was ok, that sometimes the end justifies the means... But he didn't. Danse was noble and true – a fool of the world and a solider without a cause. A raider was just a raider.

"You know as well as anyone, D-Danse," And he looked back at me, anger gone, replaced with more sadness. "I am what the situation requires – what _any_ situation requires."

"No situation requires this..." He waved a hand in my direction. "Look at yourself Vera, your shaking, your eyes are _wild_... you've lost yourself."

Now it was my turn to scoff. " _Lost myself_?! Who are you to say that to me, Danse? You don't know me; you know a _version_ of me. T-the version that only started existing a year ago, because I had to find Shaun. Now I don't."

That seemed to unsettle him. He considered a response and I could see him chew it over in his mind, but whatever it was he decided against it. Instead, he resigned.

"You're right, I don't." He shook his head and came close to me. "But you need to get _clean_ , how about we head to the Doctors?"

I could see that the argument was over for now and quite frankly I was surprised. Danse was changing – the old him would have never let this slide.

"No, not now, the Doctors asleep... I just need to go wash my face, cold water will sort me out." I said, holding onto my composure. It was hard, working to please people. I'd almost forgotten how to do it in Nuka; there I'd merely spoken my mind.

"Ok," He said, a forced smile gracing his lips. "I'll be here when you get back."

The puff of jet was a godsend; suddenly everything seemed less... stressful. I splashed some water on my face too, just in case Danse was keen on being particularly scrupulous. It was bad, my drug habit. I'd played around with chems when I'd first got out of the Vault, back when I was feeling _really_ hopeless, without a lead to my name. I'd stopped though, when I met Nick.

But in Nuka, it'd just seemed... fitting. I didn't care about my health, or my life at all really. I was just living day by day. And if it took some chems for me to enjoy myself with Gade and Mason, I wasn't going to beat around the bush.

The tremors were gone and that was all that really mattered. Danse knew the obvious signs, but he'd never taken chems, so he wouldn't catch on. I felt bad, but what other option did I have? If only I was back in Sanctuary, Hancock would have been joining me.


End file.
